Topic: `wave 'em like you just don't care [open] (Read 96 times)
spencer Guest
`wave 'em like you just don't care [open] « Thread Started on May 3, 2009, 6:40pm »
A soft sigh escaped from between Spencer's lips as music filled his ears, coming from the green iPod that he then stuck into his pants pocket. He closed his eyes as his shoes squeaked against the floor, walking down the hall. The senior hummed softly as he did so, bobbing his head lightly to the music. Music was a thing of interest to the boy, something he loved deeply, and probably couldn't live without. Really, besides his friends and his horse, it was probably the only thing he strived for, the only thing he kept alive for. Yeah, he had some pretty bad image of himself, but it wasn't really his fault, truth be told. Spencer's father was to blame there, but we won't get into that, now will we? Spencer was getting a bit better with the self esteem, and had been since he came here, but it wasn't perfect. Nowhere near as such. He still thought himself just above worthless, but at least he hadn't attempted suicide since the one time that he did; that was good.
Spencer really hadn't any clue where he was going. He had just decided to get out of his dorm, and so he did, with iPod playing in his ears. Really, his dorm room wasn't a great place to be, not for any of them. It could feel very much like a containment cell, and none of them liked that idea. The idea of being imprisoned. Sure, there were beds and it was set up very similarly to like it would be at a college, but the whole idea of the school, centered around troubled teens, caused the prison sort-of view, and white rooms just didn't seem nice with that idea. But that is beside the point. The point is that Spencer didn't want to be contained within his room, so he left. And didn't know where he was going. Got it? Good.
The senior male hummed lightly to the music playing in his ears as he walked down the third floor corridor, shoes meeting the ground with a light thump as he walked. Spencer's hands lightly patted his jeans to the beat of the music, playing his legs like drums. It wasn't intentional, really, it's just that he's musically inclined, and has odd habits like that. And playing piano on any available surface. And his humming. They're just things that...happen. Maybe it was his obsession with music. Or something like that, in any case. Sometimes, he'd catch himself doing one of those things, and then stop, but, so long as he was listening to music, he'd probably continue. Hell, so long as he had a song in his head, which was quite often, he'd do it, if he had the beat or lyrics in his head. Yeah, he was a pretty odd kid, indeed.
Reaching the stairs, he walked down them, hand placed on the railing as Spencer stepped down them, his beats stopping as he did so. However, they didn't continue as the music abrubtly stopped. The senior stopped dead in his tracks with a groan, pulling his iPod out, cursing as he saw the "Connect to power" screen that he loathed with a passion. Sighing irritably, he replaced the mp3 player, continuing his walking down the hall.
Passing by a room, Spencer stopped and turned around, peeking into the classroom. The room in question happened to be one of the music variety, filled with many state-of-the-art instruments and equipment. He had been in here before, of course. It was hard for him to resist the instruments here. He hadn't his electric guitar with him. Instead, he had the acoustic, but it wasn't the same. Here, there were acoustic and electric guitars for his enjoyment. Grinning, he stepped into the room, heading straight for the guitars.
Spencer wasn't really lyrically inclined, not a writer of words to a song. However, the music, the composing of the song, that's what he did. He had a knack for coming up with the music that went with a song, the guitar riffs and drum beats, and the deep strums of a bass guitar. Not to mention he was pretty damn good at playing songs by ear. Picking up a silver and black Gretsch, he plugged it into a nearby amp, setting the volume relatively low, as it was instructed. Sure, the room had sound protection, but having the volumes low was best, so as to not disturb others. Sitting on a stool, he strummed the guitar, tuning the lovely string instrument.
Having gotten that done, he began to play, his fingers moving easily across the fretboard, playing "She's a Handsome Woman" by Panic at the Disco, a band he liked. Really, he liked most any sort of music. Except country, pretty much. Rock was his preferred genre, but pop, rap, hard rock, he liked as well. And yes, he had an obsession with Prince. Get over it. Spencer's soft voice accompanied his playing, increasing in volume as he really got into it, eyes closed as he sang and played, a smile gracing his face. While he might not think he was all that good and playing any instrument, coming up with music, or singing, he loved doing it. Funny how the world is, huh?
----------------- tag: open word count: 881 outfit: black tee, blue jeans. normal clothes xD notes: short post...meh, probably will get hella lot longer later xD just wanted to do a quickie here. x] feel free to join :D
Re: `wave 'em like you just don't care [open] « Reply #1 on May 4, 2009, 11:42pm »
I've seen you cry way to many times w h e n y o u d e s e r v e t o b e a l i v e
"God, why can't you just take me away now?" Said a small feminine voice, muffled by a pillow. Nothing she did worked. Nothing would wipe her off the face of the earth. It's like everything was against her. All she did was wind up here and she wanted out. She wanted out of everything. This school, her life, work, everything! After wallowing in self pity for a couple of minutes, she got up and decided to get out of her night clothes. She slipped on a pair of purple skinny jeans on and pulled a black shirt with a bunch of "Foster's home for imaginary friends" characters on it. She ran a studded belt through her belt loops and fastened it in the front. The next thing to go on was a pair of vans. They were black with a random stripe running through them. She laced them up and found her 'Vans' hat and put it on her head, cocking it to the side a bit.
She threw on some random jewelry and then began to apply her make up. All she used was some dark black eyeliner and purple and pink eyeshadow. She thought about what she was going to do. She hadn't played her guitar ever since she was here, so she decided to take the silver burst Les Paul and go to the music room. She grabbed it off of the stand and began to walk out the door. She turned around and locked it. She then realized that she had locked her keys in the stupid room.
She let out a frustrated growl and huffed as she turned around and started walking. She shuffled her feet, annoyed at herself for making such a stupid mistake. She bit on her lip as she was looking for the music room. She guess it was down a flight of stairs or so, she she proceeded to walk down the stairs, almost tripping on her way down. She let of a screeching noise as she re gained her balance and looked around to make sure no one saw that little accident. That would be embarrassing.
She was quite proud of herself for not getting mad and throwing a fit ever since she had been at this school. That was probably because she had made a new friend who kept her calm some how... which was strange because he had anger issues also. That might be why they bonded so much. but, oh well. Brianna didn't know. She just knew that he was the best friend she had here.
... Speaking of said friend, he was in the room that Brianna opened the door to. She gave a small smile as he was playing guitar. She hopped he didn't see her because that might mean he might stop..and Brianna didn't want to be responsible for that. That would kinda suck. She slowly walked in and saw down on an amp, setting her guitar against the wall, hoping it didn't fall over. She gave a half wave and spoke up. "It sounds really good." She said. Yeah, she didn't even say hey to him. Oh well, he would get over it. And if he didn't... Well, Brianna didn't know... But she would do something!
She shivered a little bit because the air was on in the cold school. Blah, just another thing about this school that made her hate it more. It was like a prison for her. She didn't want to be here at all. It was like hell for her. She knew it was set up like a school and they tried to make the kids feel at home, but it didn't work when the kids knew they were basically at an asylum. Oh well, unless they didn't have padded rooms.... Those would be kind of fun to play in... Like one of those moon bounces! Brianna softly chuckled at the thought and looked at Spencer. "Wouldn't it be fun to jump in one of those crazy people, solitary cells , like a moon bounce?" Yeah, it was random, but she was a random person, so back off, ho!
She bit on her lip once more, studying the guitar that Spence was playing. She had always liked Gretsch. Then again, she just had a thing for big, hollow body guitars. Why she had a Les Paul, I don't know. It was just the first thing she could get her hands on. She was hoping to get a Gibson Country Gentleman. It was her dream guitar, but she never had enough money to get one.
She sighed as she played with the ring on her finger, kind of bored. She was waiting for Spencer to entertain her some how, thought she was doubting that he would catch on that she was bored. So, she decided to speak again. "How have you been?" She asked. Yeah, it was a basic question, but it would get the ice broken, right? Now that there was nay ice with the two. Her phone buzzed once, signaling that she had a text message. She opened it up and it was from her mom, asking how the school was.
"Like you care." She muttered under her breath, hoping that Spencer didn't think she was crazy. But, who wasn't crazy in this school? well, the teachers, but Bri was convinced that they were just as crazy as the teens, just in an adult version. Because, half of the teachers here were either sluts, had ADHD or they were just plain scary looking and Brianna wished not to socialize with them.
Which was really funny because she was all against judging people, but teachers were a different story. They weren't even human! There were like aliens from outer space. Okay, so maybe they weren't but shhh! Don't tell Brianna that!
Re: `wave 'em like you just don't care [open] « Reply #2 on May 7, 2009, 10:33pm »
There were always times that Spencer was self-loathing, self-pitying. In fact, he had many such times, despising himself, disliking the things he did, disking his features, hating it all. It was just his nature to do such, and had been since he was a young boy. It didn’t help that his father had constantly abused him as a child, and encouraged the younger Spencer to think bad of himself. The older man didn’t realize his mistake, most of them made in drunken idiocy, and didn’t realize how much of a screw-up it made Spencer. Hell, the senior wouldn’t be surprised if the man didn’t actually know that he had attempted suicide and had cut before. The man that was his father spent most of his days drinking, and forgetting what had happened when he did so. Hell, Spencer wouldn’t be surprised if his father hadn’t even realized the fact that he was gone, even though he had been here for awhile. But perhaps he did. It didn’t matter, Spencer was here, away from his father. At least some miles away, anyways. Sadly enough, Norfolk wasn’t that far away from Creekpoint, so he also lived in a constant fear that his father would come here for some reason. He hated his father, he really did.
Spencer wasn’t one of those people that constantly wandered about for hopes of finding someplace new. In fact, he was one of the types that just hated having nowhere to go. He liked having a destination, though he was very indecisive about it. He was one of those indecisive people. It sucked that he was like that...wanted something to do, somewhere to go, and yet...he was indecisive about such things. It was a flaw in his personality, he knew, but he couldn’t help but be the way he was. Spencer controlled that part about him as much as he controlled his hair or eye color. Well, perhaps he controlled it a little more than that, but you get my meaning. He was the way he was for a reason, and if people didn’t like that, then they could go off and...do something. He didn’t know what, and he didn’t care. They could just go on with their lives and continue to dislike that part about the senior for all he cared.
The senior pulled down on the edges of his black button up t-shirt, making sure it fit snugly on him. It was a habit of his....pulling down on his shirt, or pulling up his pants, which he did just then, the slightly skinny jeans tight on his legs. So forgive him for being somewhat of an emo kid, as many classified the guys that wore tight jeans as. Hey, they were comfortable to him. Besides, they weren’t fully skinny jeans; they weren’t skin tight as he had seen some be. As he walked, he removed his black hat, combed down his light orange-brown hair, then replaced the hat. He loved hats, and it was one of those things he never went without. He owned many hats, it was true, and he loved them. In addition, he looked pretty damn awesome in them. Not that he’d ever think as such, but he did. His reasons for wearing them was that they were just comfortable, no additional reason needed. He simply liked the feel of them on his head.
Spencer was pretty much in heaven as he strummed the silver and black Gretsch guitar, hazel eyes shut as he played, lost in the music he played. He was passionate about music, that much was known, and obvious. He didn’t care that he didn’t think himself good at any of it, he enjoyed it, and that was what really mattered. Of course, many thought that he was really good at guitar and singing, but their opinions mattered little when he thought himself not good at it. It was just how he was. He accepted compliments, but never really believed them. He tried to, he honestly did, but it was hard, with the words of his father creeping into his head, the derogatory remarks whispering to him, preventing him from believing the compliments. But he did try to remove that whispering, that coaxing for him to not believe in himself, from his mind.
The boy’s voice started out as a low hum, not loud, not even words forming from them, except for the ones in his head. However, as he continued to play, the humming turned to soft singing, which then turned into louder singing, audible singing. When songs played, the only time he could resist singing was when it would be very odd to do so, such as in the middle of a lesson at school, or at a formal meeting of some sort. Spencer sung in the halls, in the stables, out on the streets, anywhere. He didn’t care who heard him, and what they thought about it. He loved to sing, and that was the point of it all, that he enjoyed it. So long as he enjoyed what he did, he didn’t care if people thought him odd about doing it. Although...he actually did. Out in public, his eyes were always watching to see what people were thinking by their eyes. It was his self-esteem issue, which didn’t help when people looked at him like a freak. But it was good, though, that he continued to do it even when someone gave him the Evil Eye. He wasn’t giving into his self-consciousness.
Too involved in playing and singing, he hadn’t noticed his best friend enter the room, her Les Paul guitar in hand. When he finally finished the song with the last “film the world before it happens,” he looked up, startled to suddenly find Brianna there with a smile on her face. He couldn’t help but let a soft smile of his own cover his lips. A light blush covered his cheeks at her compliment. I will believe it. It sounded good, it sounded good.. he tried his hardest, but then there was that little whisper that sounded in his father’s voice, [i]she’s your friend, of course she’d think everything you do is good. It may have sounded good, even that by a stretch, but it wasn’t good enough. Nothing is ever good enough with you.”[/b] Spencer mentally shook his head, trying to get rid of that little voice. ”Thanks,” he replied with a smile. Of course, she wouldn’t directly greet him. It wasn’t much of a surprise; she did it often enough, didn’t she? ”You going to play, too?” he inquired, nodding at her Les Paul. It was obvious that she probably was going to play. Why else would one carry a guitar down to the music room? As a fashion statement? He didn’t think so.
It was rather cool in the room, he noticed, and he wasn’t wearing anything but a simple black short-sleeved shirt. Spencer sighed slightly, wishing that it was warmer, or that he had thought to bring a jacket with him. For some reason, the cold reminded him once more of the fact that the place was similar to a jail. The constant cold, in addition to the at least seeming security of the place. How they tried to make sure that nobody was doing anything wrong. Mentally shaking his head, Spencer turned his attention to Brianna, lips upturning in a smile at her words. Words that he found rather amusing. ”Well, I suppose, assuming that the material is indeed one that lets one bounce. If it wasn’t, I don’t think it’d be too much fun, don’t you think?” he inquired, a pale eyebrow raising upon his forehead in question, hazel eyes sparkling with amusement.
As a silence fell over the two, Spencer looked down at the Gretsch, plucking the strings slightly, making sure it was in tune. He couldn’t really think of anything else to say, and, really? He wasn’t that great and reading other people’s body language, and he couldn’t really tell that Brianna was bored, even if it seemed obvious. His eyes flickered about, trying to think of something to say. As he finally got an idea for something, she managed to say something first. Spencer smiled gently. ”I’ve been pretty good, thanks. Could be better, but that’s expected. I’m sure everyone could be better. What about yourself?” Yeah, it was a general sort of question, but he liked it fine enough. Better than his stupid conversation starter, the subject of which she had already forgotten.
His eyes glanced up as he heard the familiar buzz of a vibrating cell phone, and, sure enough, Brianna was grabbing for hers. Apparently, seeing as how she was reading instead of speaking, it was a text message. He stood there a bit awkwardly as she read it, eyes glancing about, though they locked on her again as she spoke soft words. Spencer had relatively good hearing, and had indeed heard the girl, though it was hard. He tilted his head as he looked at her. ”Like who cares, and about what? Unless you don’t want to say...” he trailed off a bit awkwardly, and had an idea just to say something loudly and randomly. Something like “WELL HOW ABOUT THAT WEATHER?” but he didn’t, of course. For one, it would be extremely odd for him, the senior not being one of those random hyper kids. Secondly, he really didn’t even know what the weather was like. He hadn’t been outside yet, and he never paid any attention to the weather.
Re: `wave 'em like you just don't care [open] « Reply #3 on May 7, 2009, 11:41pm »
I've seen you cry way to many times w h e n y o u d e s e r v e t o b e a l i v e
The world was crazy in Brianna's eyes. She wasn't sure if it was like that in other people's eyes because she saw things differently... I wouldn't say she was enlightened, because she saw things dimmer and much more dreary then they were. She could take a good thing and see it as a bad thing in a split second because, that was just how she was raised. She didn't necessarily like it, but it was who she was, and there was no changing that. Brianna wouldn't change for anyone on the face of this earth. She was who she was and that was how it was going to stay. This dumb school didn't have the power to break her from what she had always known. It was like telling the tide not to roll in or telling the birds not to sing in the morning, it simply couldn't be done. Well, in Brianna's eyes, anyways. But this school got her away from the horrors at her own house. Wasn't a house supposed to be a place where family loved one another and cared about another? Not a place where you get the hell beat out of you for doing something wrong or defending yourself. She was merely defending herself from her mother's boyfriend and she got sent here, no one even knew about her cutting or overdosing before she was sent here. She was perfectly fine. Okay, so she wasn't!
She felt strange and different in this new place, the people scared her, though she would never admit that out loud. A lot of the people here were delinquents and found suicidal kids weak and wimpy. So, Brianna already had people against her. But the funny thing about Brianna is that when she lost her temper, she wasn't all sun shine and rainbows anymore. she turned into skater chick from hell. It was like the only thing that she cared about was you and you being dead. Of course, yes she would get pissed off at her friends sometimes, but she had never hurt them. She had control over that. She just tried to kill the people that she hated. A lot of times, she had to be pulled off in order to keep from the other person dying. Brianna could say that she honestly felt no pity for the people. It's not like they were innocent either. They tired to hurt her, so what was she supposed to do? Sit back and let them? Hell no! If you talked big, Brianna was going to show you how big you were, weather she was kicking ass, or getting her ass kicked, she didn't take shit for free.
She heard Spencer say thanks and she smiled. She felt the need to compliment him all of the time. He needed something to pick him up. She didn't want him to be sad anymore. What kind of best friend would want that? Not a good one, I tell you! But, she wasn't lying, he did sound good. She just wished she could could let him know that somehow, but Brianna had no idea how to do that at all. ”You going to play, too?” she heard her best friend ask. "Uhm, Well, I was, but now I'm going to sound pathetic compared to you, and I still want some of my pride left!" she giggled. She was being serious, though. She sat down on an amp and decided the play the guitar un plugged, following with whatever Spence was playing. She was going to let him be the leader because Bri was not a dominate person over what her friends did at all! If anything, she was overly submissive. ”Well, I suppose, assuming that the material is indeed one that lets one bounce. If it wasn’t, I don’t think it’d be too much fun, don’t you think?” He responded to her comment. "I dunno, it looks like pillows...Sorry, random.. I've had an energy drink today, not good!" She said, putting a mock terrified look on her face. She pouted at Spencer's next comment. ”I’ve been pretty good, thanks. Could be better, but that’s expected. I’m sure everyone could be better. What about yourself?” "Well, you should be better, because, ya know, I'm here and all." She with a cheesy smile and then decided to answer his question. "I'm good...I guess.' She said, her eyes glancing down towards her feet, trying to hide the apparent sadness in them. She didn't want Spencer to worry about her at all. He had his own shit to worry about and Brianna didn't want to add to that mess. If anything, she wanted to take away from that. She wondered if Spencer knew how much she cared for him. He was pretty much the best friend she ever had and it made her sad to have a sad friend. Especially when it was her best friend because she didn't let to many people get real close to her.
I mean, sure, she had friends, but no one she told everyone to or offered emotional support to. But there was something special about Spencer. ”Like who cares, and about what? Unless you don’t want to say...” Brianna shifted her eyes to Spencer and sighed. "Mom just texted me and asked how the school was. I know she doesn't care. Why would she?" She asked, mostly to herself. She hated the woman for ever she she had put Brianna through and never believing her when something was wrong. The woman was dead to Brianna. She could care less if the woman got hit by a car this very moment. All the happy emotions drained from her eyes, but a new expression filled them. She couldn't tell if it was anger, dear, sorrow or a mix of them all, she just wanted everything to be over and over now. Was that to hard to ask for? Words: 1,005 Outfit: I still want this outfit xD Notes: =D
Re: `wave 'em like you just don't care [open] « Reply #4 on May 11, 2009, 8:58am »
Spencer really was pessimistic about the world, for the most part. Well, mostly things that involved him. Most of the good things that ever happened to him, he’d usually take it as a bad thing. It had nothing to do what it was, it was just the way he was raised, with a general bad view of things, especially himself. It’s not like he could help it; he had been too young when it had all started to understand and stop it. So here he was now, this fucked up senior kid with many problems on his plate, viewing the world as a cup half empty. Well, for the most part, anyways. Spencer really was rather nice to people, and, with them, didn’t think of much as pessimistic. Call him some sort of bipolar, but that’s how he worked. He only viewed himself as horrible. Friends, teachers, animals, anything besides himself and his family, he thought pretty much amazing. Yeah, he was a pretty fucked up kid. And that was what the school was trying to fix, but it was pretty much impossible. Yeah, the school could attempt to help, and get some slight results, but nothing could cover up the teachings of his father, and the way that his family pretty much ignored him, unless he got in trouble. That was the only time that attention had been brought to him. And hell, half the time it wasn’t even his fault, it was one of his brothers’.
Spencer really had no problem with the school, to be honest. In fact, he was actually rather glad it was here. Being at the school was better than being at home and having to go to therapy, but still being around his stupid family. The pain of still having his father around to abuse him, to harass him. Anything was better than that. Sometimes though...he just wished that the school was further away from his home than it was. It was the only qualm the senior had with this place, it was too close to where he lived for his comfort. Well, technically he lived here now, but the meaning was clear. The house that he had lived in, the place where his family resided. It wasn’t his home. He never thought of it as a home. Home is a nice place, somewhere where one can feel safe. It was also said that home is where your heart is. The house that Spencer had previously resided in wasn’t a nice place, he most definitely didn’t feel safe there, and his heart sure as hell wasn’t there. So the location was really the only thing that annoyed him about the place. That...and well, maybe some of the kids did annoy him. Really whiney ones, especially. And he wasn’t too big on the ADHD-like ones, either. But hey, the hyperactive ones couldn’t really help it that much. However, the whiney ones...they sure as hell didn’t have to whine, and that was just a little bit, kind of, a lot a bit annoying.
The senior boy knew that she was only just trying to keep him up, even if he generally was nice. It didn’t matter that he was clinically depressed, but he really was nice to people in general. But Brianna was also somewhat nice. Well, at least to her friends, in any case. He knew that she had her bad moods as well, and she was fiercely loyal to her friends. Not to mention just a generally good friend. Spencer would like to think the same of himself, and, though he really was, he didn’t believe it of himself. It was that self-esteem issue that prevented of thinking such a thing. At her next sentence, he rolled his eyes. ”Shut up, you’re good. Better than me, really.” He shrugged. Well, he believed it in any case, though she apparently didn’t. Well, obviously didn’t. However, it wasn’t a complete lie; she was pretty damn good. The senior watched as she sat on an amp. ”Well, you better play, in any case, before I have to chase you around and make you play,” he said with a smirk on his lips. ”Any song requests?” A pale eyebrow rose in inquiry. They had similar music tastes, and he had been practicing guitar for a while now, so, if he didn’t know the song, he could listen to whatever song she wanted for a bit and then play it by ear. Yeah, he was pretty much that amazing, though, once again, he didn’t believe it himself.
Spencer grinned at her reply regarding jumping crazy rooms. He shook his head. ”Nah, it’s fine, I was just saying. I don’t think it’d be much fun if it wasn’t bouncy enough. If it was bouncy enough, then yeah, it’d be tons of fun.” He laughed slightly. ”Oh no, what did I tell you about that? I thought you were supposed to lay off the energy drinks,” the guitarist teased with a laugh. It wasn’t true, really, but he knew that sometimes she could get really hyper on energy drinks. Spencer rolled his eyes at her. ”Well, inflating your ego, aren’t you?” he teased her, grinning. ”Well, not to make you any more inflated there, I am a bit better with you around. It’s always good to have company, you know. Especially one with some good musical tastes.” At her reply to his question, he tilted his head, saddened slightly by her answer. Sure, she said that she was good, but she really didn’t seem to be all that great, and he was honestly worried about her. For all he was nice to people, he really didn’t let many get as close to him as Brianna for his own personal reasons. But those that were that close to him, he cared deeply for, and he didn’t like to see them sad or hurt in any way. Hell, he wasn’t much for seeing his casual friends sad or hurt, but those close ones...he cared much more deeply for them, and could hardly bear to see them in such a way. ”Hey,” he murmured softly, looking at Brianna, worry evident in his eyes. ”What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing, because you and I both know it’s not true.” The boy bit on his lip slightly, waiting for her reply, saddened slightly by the fact that she seemed sad, and he just hated that.
The senior bobbed his head slightly in a small nod as he sighed. ”Ah,” was his simple reply to her words. Spencer knew of his friend’s relationship with her family to an extent, and he did know that Brianna hated her mother. The hate that Brianna felt towards her mother was similar to the hate Spencer had for his, but the girl had much more hate for hers, mostly because she was the only figure the girl had in her life that was consistent. Spencer had four figures, his father, mother, and two brothers. He hated his father because of the pain he brought on the middle son. The rest of his family he hated for ignoring it all. For not caring that Spencer was being abused by his own family. He shook his head; it was best not to think about any of them, becayse if he thought too much, he’d probably get rather pissed off quickly. And a pissed Spencer really wasn’t a good thing to have. He was rather bitchy when in a bad mood. The guitarist chewed on his lip slightly, attempting to think of another subject. He had half a mind to ask “SO HOW ABOUT THAT WEATHER, HUH?” but honestly? That wouldn’t be the best thing to say. Especially since he really didn’t know what the weather was like right now. For all he knew, it could be raining buckets out there. Literally or figuratively, whichever you might wish. ”So, uh, what have you been up to lately?” Yeah, that’s the best he could come up with at the moment. So sue him.
Re: `wave 'em like you just don't care [open] « Reply #5 on Jun 11, 2009, 6:21pm »
I've seen you cry way to many times w h e n y o u d e s e r v e t o b e a l i v e
Brianna's blue eyed gazed glanced down to her van covered feet, trying to hide the apparent sadness in her eyes. She normally wasn't a sad person.... Okay, that was a bold face lie. She wasn't a sad person around other people. She tried to keep her tough exterior showing at all times so she got more respect. Or so she thought. All it did was keep her away from people. And that's what she thought she wanted, but in reality, she wanted so much more than that. She wanted to be loved. Someone to hold her when she was crying, someone to tell her it was going to be okay whenever she knew it wasn't going to be okay at all. But all she had ever known was nothing gentle at all.
She shook the thoughts out of her head when she heard the compliment from Spencer. ”Shut up, you’re good. Better than me, really.” She chuckled and then sighed. "Not true, Spencer. And you should really learn to take compliments better, silly." she said while she pulled the silver burst Les Paul into her lap. The guitar was like her child. It was one of the things she was able to snag from home before being crated off and sent to this hell. The only good thing about this place was meeting Spencer and Benjy. She didn't need help. She didn't have problems. She wasn't going to be a murderer and who really cared if she killed herself? Not her mom. The only reason anyone knew was because the school found out. Life sucked.
”Well, you better play, in any case, before I have to chase you around and make you play,” Brianna gave a faux, girlish, squeak and said "Oh no! Spencer chasing me. I better run!" Sarcasm was lacing her voice. Yeah, Brianna was mean like that, but it was mean in a nice way. She could never really be mean to Spencer. Okay, well, she could. But it would only be if he pissed her off a lot. Her temper was something that was hard for her to control. But she tried her best around her friends. Because if she blew up at them and lost them, she wouldn't be able to live with herself.... She wouldn't be able to live at all.
”Nah, it’s fine, I was just saying. I don’t think it’d be much fun if it wasn’t bouncy enough. If it was bouncy enough, then yeah, it’d be tons of fun.” Brianna let out yet another childish giggle. "I say we find one. Shouldn't be too hard, being we are both 'Crazy' " She said, making air quotation marks on the word crazy. She didn't think they were crazy at all, just a bit down. Brianna wouldn't admit it, though. . ”Oh no, what did I tell you about that? I thought you were supposed to lay off the energy drinks,” Brianna put on a fake shocked look and began to talk.
"I'm sorry, Spencer! I couldn't help it! So... addictive.." She said with a small giggle. ”Well, inflating your ego, aren’t you?.......... Well, not to make you any more inflated there, I am a bit better with you around. It’s always good to have company, you know. Especially one with some good musical tastes.” Brianna blushed just a little bit at the compliment. Yeah, she liked him a little bit. Okay! A lot! But he would never ever like her in that way. Plus. He needed someone better than herself. "Well, then. I'm glad to know my presence makes someone happy." She said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
At his sad expression, she knew it made Spencer sad and then that made her even more sad, if that was possible. ”What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing, because you and I both know it’s not true.” Brianna blinked, trying to put a happy face on, but she wasn't sure if it was successful or not. "But Spennnnccceerrr." She whined. "It really is nothing." She said, hoping it was a convincing lie, being she was a good lair. she had to be with the way she grew up. ”So, uh, what have you been up to lately?” she heard Spencer say after a few moment of silence. "Uhm..." Brianna trailed off. What had she been up to? "Skateboard...and.. Skateboarding." Yeah, Brianna's life was lame.
_______________________ Words: Dunno xD Outfit: I still want this outfit xD Notes: Sorry it took so long. Finally got some Brianna muse.
Re: `wave 'em like you just don't care [open] « Reply #6 on Jun 18, 2009, 7:26pm »
Spencer hated to see his friends sad. He always had, and he always will. The senior was a natural born worrier. He worried about people. The boy couldn't help it, though, it was just his personality. It was how he was, and little could change that fact. He chewed his lip as he watched Bri. Although she seemed to be normal and not-sad, being her best friend meant that he could pretty much see through it all. He wasn't her best friend to just sit there and not notice that, to just let him believe that she was fine.
The musician knew he needed to take compliments better. Ever since Spencer got here, people had been telling him that. Telling him that he needed to boost his self-esteem. But that was harder than they thought. They weren't the ones that had to live with their father beating them, telling them that they were worthless, and that they didn't do anything good. That it was impossible for them to do anything worthwhile. He just couldn't believe any of the compliments he received, not with the whisperings of his father at the back of his head, telling him how worthless he really was. Not with the physical marks his father had left on him, several of them scares laced across his back and chest, along with an 'x' on the inside of his left arm, a constant reminder of what his father had told him time and time again. Shaking his head, he let out a wry smile. "Whatever Bri. And I've been told that many times," he said, plucking lightly at a string, the sound reverbarating about the room. He silenced the silver and black guitar, looking back at the girl. "Mostly by the therapists, though. And you." He grinned at her, eyes filled with wicked playfulness.
Spence laughed as Bri let out a fake squeal. Of course, he knew it was fake, and could hear the sarcasm laden in her voice, but that didn't prevent him from playing along. "Yeah, you better run," he told her with a grin as he tuned his guitar. Sure, he had been playing it earlier, but he could tell that it had been slightly out of tune. Besides, he liked to make sure, in any case. "I have a scary monster at my beck and call, so you better be careful," he said, nodding with mock morosity. Of course, he didn't really, and he knew that Bri could probably outrun him. Not to mention she could probably beat him up. But that was a different matter entirely. The matter at hand was the fact that he was being silly in response to Bri's comment. Not much of a surprise, really. He did it most of the time.
At the girl's suggestion, he grinned. "Sounds like a good idea to me," he affirmed with a laugh. Of course, neither of them were actually that crazy. Many around the town found most of them to be potheads, freaks, and weirdos, but that was their thoughts. They were just teens with some...problems, so they got matched up with horses to make it all better. Not that he thought it was doing too much. They all knew that the academy really didn't give too much of a shit about them.
The boy let out a laugh at Brianna's indignant reply. "Yeah, yeah, I'm suuree it is. But you know what it does to you," he said, his mirth evident in his eyes, as a smile pulled the edge of his lips. Of course, it wasn't actually as bad as he was making it seem, but it was more fun to tease and be playful than to be serious and not tease, because once couldn't tease when being serious. It just didn't fit.
Of course, when Bri blushed, Spencer wasn't paying attention. He was looking down at the guitar in his arms, and, by the time he looked back up at the girl, the blush had pretty much disappeared. Yeah, he was completely oblivious to the fact that she liked him. Which probably was for the best really. But that was besides the point. He just really was glad his friend was here. Now he wouldn't be all alone in the music room, nearly bored. Only nearly, because he would have the music, which always provided some company. At least it did for him, anyways. Every person was different, and he was sure there were those that would be bored despite the fact that they had music. "Well, good. I'm sure that boosted your ego by a million, but it's okay. Just 'cause I'm happy," he said with a smile in her direction. Yeah, he was kind of weird. Get over it.
Spence was pretty sure that it was a neverending cycle. Her being sad made him sad, which made her sadder, and, in turn, made him sadder. It was how things worked with the two of them. They didn't like the other being sad, not one bit. Just made them sad to see the other sad. A sigh escaped the teen's lips as she attempted to make herself look happier, though it was unsuccessful. Well, with him, in any case. Other people, those that didn't know her as well, might think her better, but he knew better than that. The two had easily clicked when they met, and he knew a lot about her. And pretty much knew when she was trying to hide something. Spence shook his head as she protested against what he said. "But Brriiiiii, you know you're lyyiingg," he replied, looking at her. "Hey, you know you can trust me with anything." He bit his lip as he looked at her from under his eyelashes, head tilted down, towards the ground.
The musician rolled his eyes at her reply. Could he really expect anything less from his skater friend? Honestly, she was always skateboarding. Well, if she wasn't just hanging out with a friend. One that didn't skateboard. Or with one that did but they were, surprisingly, not skateboarding. It was the girl's life, pretty much, he knew. Kind of like music was his. "That's the best you can come up with?" he inquired, quirking an eyebrow with a grin. She knew he was teasing; he did it a majority of the time anyways, if you couldn't tell already.
---------------------------------------- tag: bri words: 1,088 outfit:clickeh huurrr<3 notes: yaayy! got it donnee. I surprised myself xD and yay shortness x3
Re: `wave 'em like you just don't care [open] « Reply #7 on Jul 15, 2009, 10:54pm »
I've seen you cry way to many times w h e n y o u d e s e r v e t o b e a l i v e
"Whatever Bri. And I've been told that many times, Mostly by the therapists, though. And you." Brianna snickered and then pulled her lips over to the side as if she was thinking, but she really wasn't it was just another dumb habit of hers. After a moment of sitting there, she decided she better say something or this whole situation could get very awkward, and Brianna did not like Awkward. It was so..... Awkward..? That was the only word that Brianna could think to describe it. Maybe the dictionary would be able to do it better... Well, of course it would, being it described everything. "Well, I know it might be hard for you to believe, but you are amazing, Spence. Trust me. You know me, I tell things like they are." Brianna was being serious. He was amazing and she wished he would realize it. It was frustrating sometimes. She just didn't want him to be so hard on himself.
"I have a scary monster at my beck and call, so you better be careful," Brianna just blinked at him and then turned her head to look out the window. "Oh Lord. Scarrryyy." Was all she really said. She had other things on her mind. She didn't want them to be there. Just thoughts of her mom. She loved the woman. She didn't like her, but she loved her. She was her mother after all. She couldn't bring her self to hate her. Just dis like her... But the thing is. Even though she loved her mother, her mother didn't love her back. It showed every day. She couldn't stand for Brianna to be in her sight. That one day that Brianna overdosed and almost died, she could have cared less, but she didn't want to be charged with neglect... So, to the hospital, Brianna went. And when she was brought home, She beat the shit out of Brianna for making her go through that. That wasn't what Brianna wanted! All she wanted was to die! Was that too much to ask?
No one really cared about her. Well, until she came here. She had Spencer and Benjy. She knew it would hurt them, but Brianna didn't care. Okay, that was a lie. She cared too much about her best friends. She couldn't just leave them... But whenever she would think about it, the thought of death seemed nice. No more pain, no more crying. Just darkness. "Yeah, yeah, I'm suuree it is. But you know what it does to you," Brianna forced her self to giggle. "I need to stop that. It can't be good for me!" She chuckled, then looked away again. She knew that Spence knew her well enough to see the sadness in her eyes, and she didn't want him to think she was sad, but she couldn't hide it any more. She took the guitar off of her lap and leaned it up against the amp, about ready to go back to her dorm, but then Spencer said something else and caught her attention.
"Well, good. I'm sure that boosted your ego by a million, but it's okay. Just 'cause I'm happy," Well, at least he was happy, right? "Well, as long as you are happy." Brianna said with a sigh. She wished that her discontent would quit showing through her voice. She didn't want to make Spencer feel worse because she knew how he got when she was sad. She just couldn't find a way to perk herself up. "But Brriiiiii, you know you're lyyiingg," he replied, looking at her." Brianna laid her head on his shoulder. "I know. I am." She sighed. "Hey, you know you can trust me with anything." Brianna nodded.
She knew good and well that she could trust Spencer with anything, but the thing is, she didn't want to bother him with anything. " I know, Spencer. But you have better things to listen to than me talking about my shitty life." She nodded, giving a small smile.
Re: `wave 'em like you just don't care [open] « Reply #8 on Jul 17, 2009, 9:10pm »
Spencer knew that he was supposed to believe that he was awesome as people told him he was. He knew it. But he just couldn't. He tried sososo hard to believe it. He wanted to so much, but just how he was prevented that. The way he had been raised, the way his father taught him. The despicable man. A light smile tugged the corner of his lips as his best friend laughed. Yeah, it was kind of funny, in some weird way. Well, the therapists didn't actually call him awesome, but they complimented him, trying to get him to accept the compliment, like actually believe it. It was hard when nearly every fiber of your being went against it. They try lhaving to grow up like he did, constantly told he was a worthless piece of trash, the teaching accentuated by the sting of flesh on flesh as he was hit. Let's see how they liked it. How they'd feel about life then, how they would feel with people constantly pressing compliments on him, telling him to try and believe them. Maybe they wouldn't be sugar-coating everything like they did. Maybe they'd actually leave him be, and not annoy the hell out of him. Bri, on the other hand, didn't. With her, the compliments were more sincere, and he wanted to believe them more than the therapists and counsellors'. "Yeah, I know. But it's not as easy as you might think." Sometimes he hated being the way he was, because he knew how frustrated she got with him sometimes. But it's not like he could help it.
At her response to his retort, he sighed. Normally, she'd probably say something more interesting. Perhaps something more sarcastic and playful. Not so bland as her words were. He hated to see her like this, and he knew that she didn't like him sad either, so why was she being the way she was? Spencer set down the guitar carefully, making sure that it didn't make any unwanted ruckus before looking back at Bri, studying her. Biting his lip, he wrapped his arm around her and gave her a hug. He didn't really know why he did it, he just did. His reasoning was that she looked like she needed a hug, and that was good enough for him. If she had a problem with that, then oh well. The senior had wanted to give her a hug, so he did. After he hugged her, he went back over to where he had been sitting before, and reclaimed the seat, watching her, hoping that she'd be okay.
Spence had a feeling that Brianna had some problems with things that she wasn't revealing to anybody, except maybe the stupid school. They knew everything. The way she regarded things around her, the way she seemed depressed a lot, not to mention her seeming carelessness to her life had him thinking. He didn't want to pry too much into her business, but she was his best friend and he wanted to know what was up, and she wasn't telling anybody. It only made sense that he wanted to know what was going on with her, and why she seemed so depressed a lot of the time. Even her giggle was forced, and he could tell. Forcing things was worse to him than her simply being sad. It meant that she wanted to be happy, wanted to actually laugh, but just couldn't, because of the overwhelming sadness. Resisting the urge to hug the girl again, a slight smile tugged his lips, barely on the edge of being forced itself. "Probably not. The chemicals in those things might cause you to spontaneously combust. Wouldn't want that. I'd be quite depressed. Not to mention lonely," he responded. It was true enough. Sure, he had friends, but she was probably one of his closest friends, which made all the difference.
The teen nodded lightly, and wanted to smile, but just couldn't. He hated to hear the sadness, the discontent evident in her voice. Yeah, he was happy that she was here to save him from the previous boredom he had endured (despite the fact that he had music, which was good enough as company). He was glad that he had his best friend there, but the sadness that eminated from the girl just overwhelmed that happiness, and he couldn't help but being sad himself, especially because he didn't want her sad. He would much rather be sad himself than have her be as such. Though he also knew that if he was sad, she was sad. Just like it was right now in vice versa. Which was why he was sad now. Simply for the reason that she was, and he hated to see that. As she laid her head on his shoulder, he wrapped an arm around her, resting his hand on her shoulder, looking down at her. "Then don't lie? For me?" he murmured softly to her.
Eyebrows rose with her comment. "Better things to do? I'm sitting here in the music room for the hell of it, guitar nearby, having previously played a song I've been able to play for two, nearly three, years, and you think I have better things to do? Au contraire, ma amie. I have very little to do, so feel free to enlighten me about your shitty life. Probably not as shitty as mine." It was probably true, to. He had never told Bri everything about his life. He hadn't told her how he had such bad self-esteem. The only bit he had ever told her was the fact that it was his father's fault, and she knew that Spence disliked the man, as well as the rest of his family. She didn't know that his father verbally abused him on a near regular basis, or that he physically abused his son. Very little could be worse than that, even in her life.
--------------------------------- tagged! bri! word count! 1k on the mark xD outfit!clickhurr! notes! wow, that was kinda quick xD and sucky 8D
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